


Reflection

by VaansAbs



Category: Lightning Returns: Final Fantasy XIII
Genre: Angst, Angst and Romance, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-03
Updated: 2019-08-03
Packaged: 2020-07-30 13:29:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 723
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20097973
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VaansAbs/pseuds/VaansAbs
Summary: Snow reflects on his relationship with his beloved fiancée, Serah.





	Reflection

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a graphic I saw on Tumblr. This was originally written four years ago. I fixed up the grammar and removed some things and tweaked others.

_ “It would have been better if we had never met.” _

Guilty, I think those words to myself as each day passes by in a similar fashion. Not a day goes by when I don’t think of you when I remember how I could’ve saved you. And perhaps I did in some timeline, but this is the future we have now.

You’re gone and I’m still here, alive. In this world where not even the dead can be revived, I wish to myself every day to meet a similar fate, to end this hell I go through day after day. It was harder at first, and even now five hundred years later, it still hurts.

It gets harder and harder to go on without you, Serah. I wish that there was some way to bring you back, but everyone’s gone. I can’t ask for help anymore. I’m doomed. I thought becoming a L’Cie again would help save you, help bring back your sister, but I failed you and the only thing I have to show for it is this ever-constant reminder on my arm where my last brand used to be.

Serah…. Is there any way that… I can make things right? I want to, but I don’t think I have the right to.

Now there’s this girl… Lumina. She’s hell-bent on annoying me and… how much she looks like you just doesn’t set things right. Is that you…? Somewhere in there? In her? I want to believe it. Maybe it’s our Almighty God’s way of punishing me. Telling me I have to atone for my sins, but I don’t know how.

I try to ease the hurt in ways one wouldn’t think wise. The nightly shows of Yusnaan have gone on for a long time. I’ve been alive for so long, I no longer remember when, but these shows remind me of happier times. Just you and me… and the night I proposed to you under the fireworks of Bodhum long ago on Cocoon. These makeshift celebrations can in no way compare to the dazzling wonders that our home long ago held, but they remind me of when I was once happy - with you.

I don’t remember much about my parents. I know they gave me up when I was born and I was alone for a long time. I had Gadot and the others but I was alone. I didn’t have a family. I didn’t have parental love and then I met you and I experienced a kind of love that made my lonely soul fill with light and happiness and I wanted more than anything to protect you, to be with you.

You brought light to my life, but now you’re gone and there’s so much pain and I can’t stop myself from thinking that it would have been better if we’d never met. But even so, I wouldn’t have changed, wouldn’t be the man I am now.

I feel so guilty. I could have saved you, could have tried. I knew your fate and yet I couldn’t stop it. I had known since the beginning since we met in Sunleth. How I wish I could change things even now and I guess I understand why Caius did the things he did for Yeul.

I didn’t understand until I had lost you.

I remember your crestfallen face when I announced our marriage was on hold. You had probably assumed it was because we were both busy trying to save the world and bring back your sister, but it was really because I knew your fate even before you did. I didn’t want to marry you then, only to know that you would die later on. I couldn’t bear the pain and so I was selfish, keeping it from you- the truth, our wedding.

I want to apologize to you, for everything. How could you ever love a hot-headed guy like me? I’m sorry for making you worry back then.

Are you watching over me? Even now? This hole in my heart just gets bigger and bigger with each passing day, it gets harder to breathe, to function. It’s not long until I become a Cie’th. Do you think your sis will stop me? Or will she save me? For you? For her? For us?

I love you, Serah and I’m sorry.

  
  



End file.
